Three Simple Ways to be More Persuasive

Inevitably – in business or in life – you will need to be able to convince someone to do something.  Here are 3 simple ways to be more persuasive:

1.        Be confident.

You might have heard the saying “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”  People tend to be persuaded by someone who is confident – even if you can appear confident.   Stand strong behind your opinion with enthusiasm.  Look them straight in the eye and be bold.

2.        Know who you’re talking to.

Put yourself in their shoes.  How do they prefer to process information?  Are they someone who prefers facts and figures?  Give them the no-nonsense basics and keep it simple.  Do they prefer to see the big picture?  Paint it for them.

3.        Make them feel good.

Flattery really can get you anywhere.  According to a scientific study, compliments give us warm and fuzzy feelings that can predispose someone to do something nice for you. For example, you might ask for time off by pointing out how flexible your boss usually is.

The art of persuasion is not about manipulation or coercion.  It’s about getting people to do things that are in their own best interest that also benefit you.  And it’s a skill you can hone and improve over time.

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How a Financial Advisor Can Help Settle Your Divorce and Save You Time and Money

If you are considering divorce or negotiating the terms of your divorce agreement, a financial advisor can be a valuable resource for you.  I have found that clients who work with their financial advisors throughout divorce negotiations are better informed as to their options and tend to obtain more favorable settlement outcomes.

I also recently met to catch up with Nick Penna, Senior Vice President and wealth advisor at IronRidge Wealth Management Group affiliated with Raymond James Financial Services in Basking Ridge, New Jersey.  Nick’s firm offers its clients a number of valuable tips when they are going through a divorce, which I summarize here.

First, it’s important to take stock of all assets, debts, income, and expenses for both you and your spouse.  Likewise, you should assemble important documents including bank statements, tax returns, and documents related to marital debt, assets, and property valuations.  You might also consult your financial advisor to help you sort out the future value of pensions and retirement assets.

In addition to helping you plan your post-divorce financial future, your financial advisor can be instrumental during divorce negotiations.  It is important that you consider the long-term impact of any decisions made in divorce negotiations.

For example, your financial advisor can help you decide whether it would be best to keep the home or to sell it, or how you might structure an alimony buyout by accessing and leveraging specific financial resources and considering appropriate tax consequences.

A financial advisor can help you determine which assets are most valuable to you based on your short- and long-term goals and help you avoid settling for less than you deserve. All of this advice can be invaluable to you and your attorney in structuring a settlement that works for both you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Additional financial tips from Nick and his firm when going through a divorce:

Create cash flow. Liquidity can be essential as you think about hiring a lawyer, moving out, etc. Make sure you’ll have enough cash to cover these and other expenses throughout the process.

Get the bills sorted. Come to an agreement about who will pay the mortgage and other ongoing bills until proceedings are final. Stay current on all bills to keep from damaging your credit.

Develop a budget. It’s important to work out whether you can support yourself and your family when you’re on your own.  List your current income and expenses, then work with your advisor to develop a spending plan until the divorce is final and get an estimate of what your post-divorce income and expenses will look like.

If you have children, think about who will pay for large upcoming expenses – things such as buying your teen a vehicle or college tuition – to avoid going back to court for these decisions.

Be vigilant about your credit. It’s important to keep tabs on your credit score and obtain a current copy of your credit report to identify all debts in your name and for which you are jointly liable with your spouse.

Minimize your tax liabilities.  Working with your financial advisor and tax professional can help you minimize your tax liabilities, as both spouses could be accountable.  Depending on when the divorce is final, you may need to decide whether to file jointly or not.

Hire a divorce attorney you trust.  Get references from family, friends, and colleagues, then listen to your gut and go with a professional who provides level-headed advice with the goal to achieve a fair settlement.

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New Jersey Child Custody Basics for Divorcing Parents

More often than not, divorcing parents make their own decisions as to custody and parenting time for their children.  New Jersey family courts have the authority to make orders concerning the care, custody, education, and maintenance of children when parents are divorced or about to live separately.

By the same token, it is the public policy of the State of New Jersey to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with both parents and to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child-rearing.

No doubt, divorce is a time of uncertainty and confusion for children.  And it is the way that parents handle the divorce that indicates how well their kids will adjust.

When parents are divorcing, kids need to be reassured that they will be kept safe and that they can depend on their parents to take care of them – even when they are not together.  More often than not, divorcing parents make their own decisions as to custody and parenting time for their children.

Even when a divorce action has been initiated with the court, parents are typically required to attend custody and parenting time mediation with a court mediator who helps facilitate an agreement.  But when parents are unable to agree, the court is authorized to order any custody arrangement, which it determines to be in the best interests of the child.

Whether agreed upon between the parents or ordered by the court, the majority of custody and parenting time arrangements generally fall into one of the following categories:

1.        Joint legal custody with one parent having primary residential custody.

This is an arrangement where the child resides predominantly with one parent but both parents have the right to participate in the major decisions affecting the child’s health, education, and general welfare.  In practice, both parents generally have joint legal custody of the children (except where one parent is incarcerated, or the court has determined one parent is abusive or otherwise deemed unfit to participate in decision-making for the child).

2.        Joint legal and physical custody

This is where the child spends roughly equal time with each parent and both parents share responsibility for the major decisions affecting the child’s health, education, and general welfare.

Particularly when divorcing or divorced parents exercise joint legal custody of their kids, both parents are entitled to records pertaining to their children, including, medical, dental, insurance, child care, and educational records, whether or not the child resides with the parent.  Therefore, divorced or separated parents can request schools and medical professionals to forward them duplicate copies of report cards and other documentation that pertains to their children.

3.        Sole physical and legal custody

In this arrangement, the child lives most of the time with one parent who also makes all major decisions concerning the child’s health, education, and general welfare.

When negotiating your custody and parenting time agreement, it’s important to carefully consider the particular needs of each child and each parent’s responsibilities to determine the best arrangement.

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