3 Powerful Ways to Get a Yes in Your Next Negotiation

When we want to sell someone on a position or idea, we often focus our efforts on what we can say to convince the other person.

But the real power of influence in negotiation is this.  Focus more on what we can learn about the other person first.

After all, people are more likely to give you what you want when they like and trust you.

Here are three powerful ways to get a yes in negotiation.

1.          Ask open-ended questions.

Before starting your pitch, find out where the other person is.  Ask open-ended questions that give more than a yes or no answer.  Allow the other person to drive the conversation.  It’s important to listen more than you talk to find out what drives the other person – their wants, needs, goals, and fears.

These “interests” are what drive their position and actions in a negotiation.  Then you can have a conversation about how you can meet their interests or needs.

2.          Build the relationship.

When you have a relationship with someone, they tend to want to say yes to you.  Likewise, the relationship you have after the negotiation will also determine future negotiations.

But what if you just met someone and have no prior relationship?  Create a relationship by sharing your goal for the negotiation.  This might be, for example, to make a deal that works for each of you.

3.          Be Trustworthy.

Reinforce your goal with actions to build trust.  Things like doing what you say you will, for example, calling at the specific time you said you would, signals trustworthiness.

Or make sure any early offers you make are tied to specifically to their interests.  This is consistent with your goal of mutual benefit.  And when you show you want to help the other person achieve their goals, they’re likely to want to help you.

You can find more detailed information on the psychology of why people say “yes” and how to apply these principles ethically in business and everyday situations in the highly acclaimed New York Times bestseller, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini.

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